On episode #038 Tina and I explore, how to share your perfect last day with your loved ones so that they know your wishes once the day has come. We both experienced the suffering of loved ones because they missed conversations about their last wish as part of advanced care planning. Take charge of your life and ending as long as you can!

Tina Ketchie Stearns-Speaker/Educator/Author has worked in the hospice and elder care industry for many years educating medical professionals and caregivers about hospice and end of life care, advance care planning, long term care communities and grief. She has educated over 50,000 people from 25 countries. Tina’s father died in the hospital after the heart wrenching decision to take him off life support. Her mother was in hospice care for five months and died in her home, peacefully and comfortably. The difference in the two end of life experiences was amazing, which is why Tina has committed her life to educating people about hospice care, advance care planning, and how to have difficult conversations. 

Tina has authored numerous articles and is a co-author of Life Boosts, a compilation book featuring 17 experts, two of which are New York Times Best Selling authors. Tina has an MBA from Wake Forest University and lives in Winston-Salem, NC. 

You can email her at tina@itsabouthowyoulive.com, call her at 336-655-0200, or visit her website at https://www.itsabouthowyoulive.com/.

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Facts / Strategy learnings:
  • there is a ‘good death’, when you share your perfect last day and wishes with your loved ones in order to leave without regrets and in peace
  • there is also a ‘bad death’ when you missed to share your perfect last day and wishes with your family so they can speak on your behalf in case you can´t
  • then regrets come up and loved ones are guessing which decisions they should make on your behalf
  • be prepared for the worst to happen, not only in case of facing a life-limiting illness but also an accident can occur any time by sharing your last wishes and documents to anyone involved and important
  • talks about your perfect last day can even deepen your connection
  • hospice care started in England back in 1964 and came to the US in the seventies
  • now advanced directive documents are needed for everybody older than 18
  • there are some main myths or misconceptions most people have about hospice care
  • hospice care is not only about death and dying but is designed to help you live pain free so you can do some things of your bucket list while you still have time before you are dying
Tips & Tricks / Secrets:
  • learn from Tina easy ways to start having the conversation about end of life wishes by starting with your Perfect Last Day On The Planet and then also ask your loved ones about their wishes
  • you can make it a ‘fun conversation’ and by explaining different situations they are not stuck in guessing what to do, if...
  • e.g. I myself faced death going through my fourth cancer illness and expressed my last wishes clearly by verbalizing them and also stated them in documents as I knew that I did not want to life under life support prolonging my life by machines. I prepared all papers of patient disposal, testament and euthanasia so my dad would know what to do
  • make sure to spread your message and share copies so family/ everybody who is important, has a copy and easy access to the documents
  • if you do not state your wishes to relatives or do not have some, a health care agent might be deciding things you do not want
  • write your bucket list, what is it that you wish to do before dying
  • watch the movie ‘The bucket list’ starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman when two terminally ill men are on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they "kick the bucket"
  • check out hospice care, as long as a doctor can estimate a 6 months period seek help to get your pain and symptoms managed
  • in the lucky case you improve so much and can go on in your life
  • make sure to spread your message and share copies so family/ everybody who is important, has a copy and easy access to the documents
  • hospice care is not only about death and dying but is designed to help you live pain free so you can do some things of your bucket list while you still have time before you are dying
  • it is all about bringing happiness, joy and fulfillment to each day that you have and being surrounded by the people and things you love and enjoying it without pain
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Links & Social:


check her tips and tons of content in her blog and on her YouTube Channel and on Facebook:


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Tina is gifting us with a free chapter of her book ‘Life Boosts’. To get it just email her requesting a copy of the chapter and she’ll be happy to send it.


Get your free tips on handling difficult conversations right here:

On the FLY-Freestyle-Your-Life Podcast I´m providing you with insights and life-changing stories by fantastic experts to share a glimpse of hope for you on your own journey. Healing can come from being motivated and inspired, how others could overcome their obstacles and could find joy again, as learning from a life hero’s journey gives hope. 

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